memories of a first date
by Trilies
Summary: Did you know Lussuria has a boyfriend? Because the rest of the Varia sure didn't. :: KHR Rarepair Week 2019


The guy takes one look at who he's bumped into, goes about ten different shades of pale in record time, and turns on his heel so fast for his escape that not even Squalo has a chance to pull out his sword. That much is actually almost commendable. Not a lot of things are faster than either Squalo's sword or his bloodlust, with the two often being hand in hand. Left behind in the escape is an enormous bouquet of flowers, and Lussuria, the recipient of such a bump, gracefully raises up her leg to catch it before it can hit the ground.

"That horse is really employing some cowards these days," Squalo snorts, lowering his sword arm.

Peering around him, Bel's lips peel back in one of his usual mocking grins. "Didn't know you were so familiar that you could recognize Cavallone men at first sight, Vice Captain." Apparently, that's far too many mentions of Dino for their boss, and Xanxus forges ahead to lead his group on the way out of this needlessly annoying mafia get together with his lips curled in distaste. If Squalo weren't bristling to start with, he definitely is now.

"It's called having preemptive knowledge of the enemy, you shitty little brat!" Despite Squalo's yelling, all of them trot obediently after Xanxus, following the natural flow of things. It's Levi who notices Lussuria's acquisition first, unable to break past the united shitshow that is Xanxus and Squalo yelling at each other while Bel gleefully eggs things on.

His nose wrinkles slightly. "You're keeping that?" he asks, taking in a look at the bouquet Lussuria now has in her arms as she trails behind most of the pack, picking through the flowers with an idle but gentle touch.

"Well, of _course_," Lussuria titters, taking a whiff and sighing in delight. "Aren't they beautiful?"

With his idea of 'beautiful' being the six foot brick shithouse that was converted into a distillery with a temper management problem- that is to say, their boss- Levi apparently can't because he raises his nose in the air a little bit. "They're nothing special," he says, which is perhaps the nicest thing he could say about anything that isn't Xanxus.

Lussuria's sigh says she expected nothing else and, while it's a mystery to just about anyone, the chances of her eyes rolling is fairly eye. "You _would_ say that." She ducks her head into the bouquet again, taking in a deep breath and curling one hand to her cheek dreamily. "One day, maybe you'll awaken to the classic beauty of a damsel receiving a bouquet from her lover."

Everyone screeches to a halt.

Well. Lussuria doesn't, sidestepping the sudden traffic jam in the hallway with a kickboxer's ease. Mammon also doesn't, now around the physical age of seven and able to keep up a little bit better these days. Around them, familiar faces are contorted in various expressions of shock. Levi in particular looks as though he's trying to solve a high level arithmetic problem to the dismay of his quickly combusting brain. Bel's is a little more subdued, if only because that's what happens when half of your face is hidden from view, and all he can do is glance up at Squalo and Xanxus with his mouth slightly agape. They, in turn... Either of them run on rage at any given time, so that there's even a hint of bewildered confusion trying to break through is impressive in its own right.

Mammon picks up the conversation with ease. "I thought that's what it was, but I didn't want to say anything right off the bat. That was a fairly clever maneuver, using a cowardly messenger in that manner so that he could discretely send you something. Did he tell you ahead of time he was going to do it?"

"Oh, no. But, you know, the last time we were able to get a bit of time for ourselves, he told me how fitting it was that I had a peacock for a box animal, because I look stunning in every color."

"What a lady killer."

Finally snapping out of it, the rest of the group surges forward to follow after, and Squalo points an accusing finger down in Mammon's direction. "How the _hell_ did you know that Lussuria was dating anyone!?"

Much in similarity with Lussuria and Bel, Mammon's eyes _also_ can't be seen yet they have ways of getting around that minor setback. For them in particular, they're an expert in the use of their particularly plush mouth, and they use it to great effect in twisting in the perfect way to radiate how unimpressed they are. "Because we talk," they state bluntly. "Regularly. Besides, I know everything about everyone in the Varia."

Squalo pulls his finger back. "Fair enough," he says disgruntledly, as they all take a moment to consider that Mammon could auction off their most embarrassing or deepest secrets if they ever though the payoff would be enough to warrant all of their rage. As it is, they're probably lucky that the illusionist is happy with hoards of cash and a quiet place separate from most of society so that they can conduct their research in peace.

That's all he _gets_ to say before Lussuria glances back at him, one finger at her lips as she grins. "Now, Squ! Are you _curious_ about how me and my dashing Romario met?"

Perhaps foreseeing more talk incoming on Dino's lot, Xanxus forges through all of them again with a grunt. "No."

Lussuria knows better than to stop him. She steps to the side instead, waving at their boss' retreating back. "I'll see you back at the base, Boss!" No one else gets to be so lucky. Still having gotten to the front of the pack, she casually weaves her way so that anyone trying to make their way past doesn't get a chance in hell. "_Now_ then, so on how we first met properly, after that time in Japan..."

The only person who is perhaps even genuinely interested in the whole tale she regales them with would be Mammon, and Lussuria knows better than to assume it's from any sort of kinship. They're only there until, in the middle of raising her voice over Bel's complaining, Lussuria slides the illusionist her credit card to charge as they see fit. That's when Mammon subtly slides out of sight back to the main gathering, disappearing with no trouble. Everyone else gets to deal with Lussuria's purple prose ridden tale of the time Romario first took her out to a date. Sure, sometimes she has to speak over Squalo's yelling... and Levi's threats... But it wouldn't be very Varia Quality of her if she let little things like _that_ stop her from doing things.

By the time they all step outside, Squalo is look exhausted for some _mysterious reason_, and Levi is more stiff and awkward than Lussuria has ever seen him. Even Bel manages to be slouching a little bit in a way that he never did when they tried to use various punishments and trials on him when he was eight. Lussuria radiates a quiet smugness as she hangs back, watching them react to the fact that Xanxus has taken their main form of transport. At least that seems to perk all of them right up... but she's not really paying attention to that. Rather, she's waiting for the tell-tale cool feeling of Mist Flames rolling over her to hide the truth from sight. And this particular truth is...

Romario's hands are warm and calloused as they rest along her arms, and Lussuria's lips curl into a smile as she feels the bristles of his mustache accompanying the kiss he presses to her jaw. "I take it you liked the bouquet?" he asks, eyes sparking from behind his glasses. Just like every time they meet, including their very first date, he manages to look so distinguished.

"Oh, you know I did," she says, kissing him back. "I liked it so much that I ended up telling everyone about our early days of romance. I thought Squalo would appreciate it more, since he's the romantic type who promised never to cut his hair for Xanxus. Well, at least _I_ enjoyed it." Leaning back against him, she looks over to see Squalo still swearing loudly while Levi seems to have a look on his face as if he's debating hotwiring a car. Bel is the only one with his phone out, because at least they raised their youngest to have the common sense to call another car over.

"Well, there's no accounting for taste," Romario says. "I hope you put me in just the right light."

Lussuria's grin gains a mischievous tint. "Well, I didn't say anything _too_ inappropriate, but I may have swooned a little bit when I was describing how you took care of that ruffian who accosted us on our way from dinner. How you gave me the choice to take care of him if I really wanted, but you thought I looked so wonderful in my outfit that it'd be a shame to mess it up..." She laughs again when he kisses down to her neck.

"I wasn't wrong. But we should go out for another date sometime. I've heard Grenada is wonderful, if you can arrange things..."

She taps his cheek. "I'll see what jobs are available and get back with you, handsome. In the meantime, it looks like we might actually be going soon. Take care of your boss, now~." They share one last kiss before Romario pulls away, allowing Mammon to guide him back while illusioned so that no one else is any the wiser. Adjusting her coat, Lussuria lets herself daydream. Grenada, huh? A beautiful place in the tropics that are almost guaranteed to have gaudy trinkets like Hawaiian type shirts. Maybe even matching couple designs. So garish and sappy... She loves the idea already.

* * *

Author's Note:

This was written weeks and weeks ago, and I almost forgot to put it on here.

Sky Day, Prompt: First Date!

Here's a rarepair lifehack for you: just pick the most minor character fuckin' go wild.

Anyway, Lussuria is trans and a woman because it was Pride and so not even God can stop me


End file.
